(i)
Selalu sangat orang bertanya:
Blog untuk apa?
Tidakkah buang masa?
Ganggu tumpuan kerja?
Ramai yang masih kurang faham. Blogging ini satu hobi. Bukan satu kerja lain, yang dibuat secara part-time. Setiap orang perlukan terapi. Sama ada untuk minda atau fizikal. Hobi adalah metod paling murah dan mudah bagi tujuan terapi. Tapi sangat efektif. Khususnya untuk terapi minda, dan spiritual.
Berdepan dengan tekanan kerja yang menimbun, blogging adalah cara terbaik me-nyahtoksin-kan segala racun (rohani dan jasmani). Yang dijana oleh persekitaran kerja. Seriously, I don't blog to prove anything. Neither my political stance, nor my intelligence. I take blogging purely for leisure. It helps me keeping my sanity.
Ganggu kerja? Tidak. Malah, blogging membantu saya lebih fokus. Inilah tempat saya bergossip ria, membebel jika perlu (ha ha ha ha!), dan berpolitik. Ya, macam-macam ekspresi boleh diluahkan. Dalam pelbagai konteks dan situasi. Jadi, saya tak perlu lagi bawa mentaliti gossip dan 'politiking' di tempat kerja. Because this blog is my place for those.
I believe that everything has its place. You shouldn't eat and shit at the same place. Unless you're really that 'sick'. Yes, metaphorically speaking.
(ii)
Bercakap pasal kerja dan kerjaya, profesionalisme memang satu isu kritikal. Terutama dalam sektor kerajaan – di mana meritokrasi hanyalah gula-gula pencuci mulut. Bukan sajian dalam menu utama.
Kadang-kadang gossip mengatasi realiti. Isu personal dipandang lebih penting daripada kerja hakiki. For you to get noticed and appreciated, you have to reduce yourself to being an a$$-licker. Atau, sekurang-kurangnya jadi gurkha tukang kipas.
Berdepan dengan situasi begitu, kita mudah terdedah kepada macam-macam kebejatan emosi. Mungkin kita akan marah, kecewa, dendam, benci, etc. Sebab itu kita sangat perlukan proses nyah-toksin. If not, our anger and bitterness will consume us. And, we may end up broken. Both emotionally, and spiritually. Sometimes, mentally and intellectually too. Worse, huh?
I had seen this happened, to my colleagues and close friends. And, it is something that I would never allow to happen. To myself.
Terima kasih dunia blogging. Secara peribadi – dunia ini telah membawa saya meneroka pelbagai dimensi hidup. Ia menguja refleksi diri. Ia membantu saya menemukan: apa yang saya cari. Sebenar-benarnya. Dalam hidup nan sementara ini.
Happiness. And, good health. No less, no more.
(iii)
Contrary to what most of my friends (and may be some of my colleagues?) think – I'm not particularly ambitious. Yes, I do take my job seriously. Trying to be very focused, all the time. A bit anal retentive, to certain extent. Or, a perfectionist – you may say.
But that it is. Serious dalam kerja, tidak semesti membayangkan kamu mengendong cita-cita sebesar gunung, kan? There's nothing wrong with being ambitious. Or, even super ambitious, for that matter. But it's also perfectly ok – if you choose not to be one. I fall into the latter category.
I'm very modest in setting what I want to achieve. Saya tidak mau mati sakit jantung kerana tekanan kerja. Financial gain certainly doesn't motivate me. Kalau dibagi begitu-begitu saja, memanglah saya mahu. Siapa tidak, kan? But I wouldn't put it as the top priority. Saya tidak bersedia mencagarkan kualiti hidup untuk mengejar materi.
(iv)
Seorang kawan kerja saya selalu sangat cakap: "I want to retire as a professor. And, hopefully become the Vice Chancellor, prior to retirement." I said – go for it. If you believe that's the best for you – then why not? I'm supporting you all the way. To me, life is about choice. Everyone is entitled to his or her own. Yang penting kita gembira dengan pilihan sendiri.
Honestly, as for myself – I'm more than happy to be (and remain) where I am now. I might be a perfectionist. But I'm not competitive. Kawan saya (yang tadi itu) selalu provokasi: "Kalau kamu tiada target dan cita-cita tinggi, buat apa jadi ahli akademik di universiti?" Begitu kata dia. Dengan nada menempik.
My defense is? Because I genuinely have passion in what I'm doing. That's why I am here. I love teaching. I love researching. I love communicating my ideas and thoughts with other people. Tidak cukupkah itu? To be a professor (or whatever) – that's not for me to decide. And seriously, I (personally) don't think it is important.
As long as I am allowed to do what I love; as long as I can keep doing it with undivided passion – that's good enough. I won't ask for more. I don't benchmark my career based on tangible achievement. Yang penting, hati sendiri puas. And of course, to be happy.
Anything more than those (in return), I would gladly accept as a bonus. But no, I'm not going to fight for it. Saya tidak mahu jadi taksub-menggila, semata-mata kerana kerjaya. That's so not worth it. When I was younger, I spent wasted too much time chasing things I shouldn't, and trying very hard to prove myself. Now, that I'm older (and wiser of course!) -- I realise how stupid I had been. I want to enjoy my life more, and avoid repeating the same mistakes.
Seorang kawan akrab pernah katakan ini pada saya: "Ada tiga perkara yang Tuhan janjikan pada kita -- jodoh, maut dan rezeki". Ini adalah perkara yang tak perlu dibubut-bubut. All we have to do is trying the best. And yes, praying. Then those things would come naturally. Kalau sudah sampai masanya. Kalau ia tak datang, then it is not meant to be ours. Don't be angry, don't be bitter. May be there's something else for us. Who knows?
Kita mesti ingat, perjuangan hidup (dalam dunia fana ini) adalah suatu proses. Tentang bagaimana kita bermula dan bagaimana kita menghayati setiap detik perjalanan. Bukan segala-galanya hanya tentang matlamat, hasil dan destinasi. Semata-mata. Proses itu sendiri, jauh jauh jauh lebih penting!
I truly agree with believe in what my dear friend said. For some years now, that is where I have placed my faith.
(v)
Saya fikir, untuk kekal jadi waras – kita harus ada hobi. Sebab ia memberi kita alternatif dari segi tumpuan dan perspektif.
Hobi (rekreasi minda dan fizikal) dapat memulihara 'fokus diri' dan mengekalkan 'motivasi kerja'. Kalau fikiran dan halatuju hidup terlalu mono-dimensi – at one point, we would lose interest in our very own life. Seriously. Nanti bila buat kerja pun, tak sepenuh hati. Bikin saja, asal ada. Mentaliti separuh-masak begitu.
That's one of the main reasons, why I blog. So, things (around me) wouldn't be that boring – because I can always explore my other interests through blogging. And seriously, this is one of the sources – where my momentum for life comes from.
Kamu, yang masih belum blogging, kenapa tidak bila lagi? :)
PS: Sehari selepas minyak dinaikkan oleh kerajaan beberapa minggu dulu, salah seorang abang saya ada menelefon. He specifically requested me to blog on that issue. Memandangkan sekarang ini semua orang blogging pasal minyak, so I reserve that entry for another few days (or weeks perhaps?). I don't normally like to go with the mass. That's so not cool, kan? :)
